Dear Bonez,

This is a new nickname, you’ll get used to it.

You won’t like it at first but you’ll get over it. The next few years are going to be fun and tough. You’re going to go through some things you are not ready for.

You’re in Uni now “Everything is AWESOME” you’ll have awful taste in music and I won’t tell you not to buy the CD cause that will help cultivate one of the greatest friendships you’ll have to date. It’ll get you through some shit, and into some shit (Yes you curse now).

You’re going to be in a long distance relationship and it’s going to be great, you’re really in love and she is too, or so you think. You text her every day, in future you’ll be upset Whatsapp wasn’t invented sooner, your phone bills will be £150 plus, I know insane right? Regardless I want you to know a few things that just might help with what’s to come.

First off she’s not the woman you are going to marry, she is not going to be the mother of your children, that privilege belongs to another, so make sure you do put that picture in your head. Don’t take yourself so seriously you can’t have your whole life planned out already, I barely have it together in about 13 years from the time you are reading this. If you take it less seriously it just might last longer and you will enjoy it much more, all this pressure will help no one.

Secondly, you’re going to get your heart broken, BADLY, you’ll look for a reason for YEARS, please do us a favour and don’t look. You’ll blame it on everyone and anyone, you’ll go back to ask her and you’ll still not get the answers you’re looking for. The answer is not all relationships work out. You’ll feel like your heart has been ripped out of your chest, like your life cannot go on without her, but it will. Your instinct will be to stay home as if you’re sick, DO NOT do that, get out of bed and for goodness sake take a shower and shave.

Finally your friend is going to help you out of what you think it the darkest time in your life, it really isn’t but he’ll help you see that. At the same time though don’t get as jaded about relationships as you are going to, you’ll grow that thick skin, and you’ll finally start cursing. That, in and of itself, is a lesson. You will hola at chicks and you’ll be rejected many, many times but there will be someone who will make you feel that warm cushy feeling again, and you’ll forget that there was ever hurt, and you’ll get hurt again, but this time it will stick you’ll remember……NOPE wrong again. You’ve got a big heart with a lot of love to give, and you should because your love is worth giving so give it.

Worry less Bonez and live more. You still have a lot of life to live, it is certainly not clear sailing from here on in but it is life. So don’t stand there like one o’clock half struck get to living. Oh and I see you didn’t take my advice on the pies, PLEASE do.


Maj Gen

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