As I write this I have floating tears in my eyes and the biggest kiwaru in my throat. You are very pregnant and with that you have found out too many things, too many dramatic, ugly, hard to swallow truths

The baby is almost here and you are sad. I know you feel very alone and scared and you think everyone is laughing at you but whatever this thing that is happening, is leading you to a bigger purpose, it is leading you to unlocking your dream and your purpose. It may not seem that way, but trust me, it is.

You are still you: It feels like your losing in this battle but if you could only see what I see, you would know you just accomplished something great. You’re still writing music, aren’t you? You still have the same brain, the same thoughts, the same desire… just because things didn’t go according to plan, doesn’t mean you can’t have everything you want. I was reading your journal the other day and I must say, you are more you than you have ever been.

Calm down/slow down: So, right now, you can’t do a million things, you can barely do five things or even two…which is great. You get to stop and reevaluate yourself. You found yourself caught in a whirlwind and now you can stop and actually see where you are going...decide where you want to go. Make goals, make plans, and sometimes just take a nap. You are pregnant for goodness sake.

Enjoy the present: Stop flooding your mind with negativity, whatever happened, happened, that doesn’t stop you from your destiny. All your hopes and dreams were not carried in that man. Remember every time you went through something and it made you want to give up? What did you do? You woke up and you fought back. The only way you can fight back effectively is by enjoying the present right now. You are alive and you are going to be a mommy, woohoo. You will get back to the music when the time is right. You will know when the time is right.

Hope is your friend: I notice that hope is your number one stalker. Ever since you were little, you were always the first to give up and the first to get up…It has got to be the most ironic thing. You take stuff so bad and then immediately you find a solution. Nothing ever brings you down, even when you’re down, keep it up. Hope is where your purpose is...remember that. For you to bring hope, you must have hope.

Your story is your journey:  You study people a lot...that’s good. Now, what have you noticed about all the successful ones, they all went through something crazy like this. The only difference between them and the people who live very mediocre lives is that, they kept going. You say you want to tell your story? Make the story. You want to give hope? Live like you can never give up. It is hard but what good thing started easy?

God is here: I know in such situations, you feel like God is nowhere but, promise, He is here. He truly knows the plans He has for you. Trust in Him…like, just free fall into His arms…it is way easier than worrying about stuff you can’t fix. The universe is working on your team, even when it seems to be punishing you.

Make conscious decisions: For most of your teenage years and early twenties, you seemed to just whizz by life...the good, the bad…you barely remember what happened and why. You need to start a fresh. Make decisions on purpose...not based solely on your heart or whatever those Disney movies told you, or that whimsical feeling. Purposely do stuff and you will find yourself where you want to be.

You are doing great mama…Just let go of the things you cannot control and you will be more than fine.

Always on your team,

Obot Cheptoo.

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