It Started Off So Innocently

It started off so innocently, she was in my math class, long hair, fine ass, and smart.

It was a feeling at first sight. I wouldn't say it was subtle, it started aloud. It has been loud since. Every word has become insanely more. They leave sometimes, and their loud voice remains. It shouldn't take this long, it's not certain, but it's different and loud.
It’s better to let go, normal people would have forgotten already. But it's always too loud... You don't easily forget what you hear every time. But I must ignore and make a forgetful memory out of the loudness for my own sake.
If I'm listening to intuition and common sense, I should let things be henceforth...
Such is an illusion and an imagination that has allowed a lot of reds to pass... Sometimes it's nice, sometimes it’s too much,
Honestly, it doesn't feel like that anyway, it's the desire to feel a certain way that makes me imagine and fit scenes. Scenes that shouldn't exist. Scenes that stand to only waste and drain that which I should be filling in me. Scratch that honesty there, I dunno!
Let's test the silence and see how far we go. I'm afraid you might come calling, the aim seems to be louder every time.
Maybe it's in my head and the silence will live on. The silence is also trying to match the loud. Loud silence.
You will forget me in a few months or days as I will or miss me out so loud as I am trying not to. Either way, I hope that whatever becomes louder is for the best.  We can't always have what we want, and this may be one. 

I have loved your brilliance and fucked divinely with you. I'm afraid had we stayed longer together our sex would have gotten explosively loud. But something always slows or stops us. Without these snarl-ups, it would have probably gotten so loud so much**. Had we stayed longer, our conversations would have gotten deeper and become our comfort zone. Maybe we would have come up with bomb ideas and motivated each to do the most in our careers. Maybe we would have gotten comfortable visiting places and making merry together far from our bed. Who knows? I want to believe it would have been so beautiful and amazing because that's what it felt like every time.
The best part is we would have our own slang, pet names, in-house jokes, and a dozen pictures and videos, ideas, and progress. Maybe that's why I have been stuck with very loud imaginations and vivid fantasies.

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