Thank goodness you have changed

Hey girl!

You look nice. I wish I still looked as good as you do: all youthful and lean. We’re smack in the middle of being 26 and as you expect, we have changed drastically in the six years between us.

Don't get me wrong, we are still awesome, it's just that things are a little different now. For example, we have a 9-5 job that we enjoy more often than we hate, we’re learning a lot of new skills. and we finally moved out. Generally, we do a great job of acting grown up.

Also, we've met someone; JR.

JR is the coolest person ever. Hot, funny, ridiculously intelligent, and just the right amount of depraved. Also has the sexiest voice you’ve ever heard. And you’d never believe it, but JR thinks you’re great. You finally have someone to tell your dumb jokes to, bounce crazy ideas off of and have long, trippy conversations with – all that silly stuff.

You are happy. You forgot about Kaimenyi kitambo (SPOILER ALERT: you and he end badly. You will be sad and mopey for a while, but you’ll get over him).

JR is one of the most amazing people you know.

You love her. She loves you.

I told you’d changed. Well, not so much changed so much as finally allowed yourself to just be yourself, and you’re unapologetic about it. I’m thankful every day because of it.

You may not believe me about this entire transformation because you still bury stuff deep inside. You’ve turned repression into an art form (we’re in therapy for that by the way). I think you’re still in that seeing-things-in-black-and-white phase. You are so afraid to be yourself. You think people won’t get you; won’t like or accept you. The thing is, you are growing out of it. You are learning to stop caring so much about what others think. I’m glad because you’re missing out on so much right now, and it stops when you finally stop letting fear drive your actions.

You are also teaching yourself to be more open: to opportunities, ideas, and luckily, to people. It is this openness that has helped grow professionally, expanded your world view and made you more honest and willing to take risks. Best of all, it’s the reason you have the most amazing girlfriend. If I could change anything about you right now, I’d have you out there talking to people instead of hiding in some corner trying not to be seen. Don’t feel too bad lakini, we figure it out eventually.

That’s all I’ve got. If you have any questions, IDK, write back.


Future E

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