It is it really?

Dear Nji,

Ever heard the words, ‘It is well’, and you wondered what is so well when you are in mourning?

Well, soon, in a span of a few months, you will experience tragedy…I don’t mean to be too dramatic but tragedy it is.

You will lose two people in the family.

You will lose your two Ma' Mdogo(s) as you fondly call them.

The first will hit you hard. It will affect you mainly because of how it affected Mum and the rest of the family. But it will also affect you deeply because of how much you know she meant to your cousins. At first, you will not know how much you miss her, but as days go on, you will start realizing just how badly you really do miss her. First, you will miss her during your birthday because she had a way of 'kupamba' as she fondly called it. No one can do it like her. Then you'll greatly miss her during your dowry ceremony. You will miss her as you imagine the lengths she would go to just to make sure you not only looked the part but that you also enjoyed the day.

But as you miss her you'll be hit by another tragedy...

You'll soon mourn another Ma’ Mdogo. In shock, you will not know how to react because you have barely recovered from the other one. You will not know how to react because of the effect on the rest of the family. But you will mourn her well... And you will not know the severity of these two losses until, on Mother’s Day, you realize you are only sending the all-important text to two and not four as you have always done. This will hit you hard and then you will hear those words again… IT IS WELL.

But is it really well?

Is it really well when you are hit by the regret that you did not spend more time with them?

Is it really well when you are hit by the regret that you could have been a better daughter to them?

Is it really well?

Well, as you think of this, and as you still try to recover (trust me, I still have not), you will learn of the reason you went through these losses…

To love, and to love dearly,

To treasure and to treasure deeply,

To care for the ones close to you without measure…

More importantly, during this time, you will learn family isn't just by fact, family are the people who'll be there for you during this time. Hold them close. Love them dearly. Appreciate them more, every day. The beauty is you will create new bonds and indeed learn that when they tell you IT IS WELL... It surely is well…and if you can’t see it now, it shall be well.

Love and prayers,


Keep resting well my dear Ma’Mdogo(s). I miss you both dearly.

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