Dear Nji

We need to talk!

Had that super crush yet? You know the one where you spend school days thinking about and how you’ll get home to spend time on the landline phone? Going to ‘do homework’ but you end up drafting letters-after all you don’t need to read, you are the brightest in your class, the cream, they call you! Have you started the letter-writing back and forth, experiencing the sweet adolescent infatuation? Have you exchanged promise rings yet, shared your first magical kiss (and many more to follow after that? Have you had the long evening strolls in the estate, scared to hold each other’s hands coz you may meet a neighbour who might just spill the news to your parents? If you have, and you feel like he is THE ONE...wait, we need to talk!

Have you experienced the literal ‘heart stopped beating’ scenario when you met him? He has that effect, I know! Have you become the envy of everyone yet and experienced people wanting to break you up? Have you experienced the teenage love life, got lost in your little world with him? Have you started the long-distance thing? Have you been pampered by his love, specifically on Valentine's (cherish them; these will be the best Valentine's gifts you’ll receive yet). Have you started college, still in this bubble of love together? Have you, in your mind, seen him as THE ONE yet...if you have... wait, we need to talk!

Have you experienced the pain of being in love with him yet? Have you broken up several times, cried your eyeballs out, but still experience that, ‘heart skipping a beat’ scenario every time you meet, or text, or talk? Have you  ‘moved on’ after college, enjoyed single life, only to receive that text from him that changes everything, making your heart do that thing for real, going back to him because well, why not? Have you been trapped under the idea of his love, suffocated by the thought of not being with him, and stifled by idea of losing him to another? Have you had the heartache of finding out that he has a child with another? Have you been shattered, broken, crushed, because in your mind you thought he’s THE ONE? Have you felt like it’s your fault? Asked yourself, “what’s wrong with me?” Wait...because if you have, we need to talk!

We need to talk because it’s not the end of you and love. Nothing is wrong with you! You will experience love like you haven’t before. Seems impossible, I know...but you will! You will experience an overwhelming feeling that does not weaken you but strengthens you. You will experience the pain of being in love, only this time, you’ll experience it with him. You’ll go back and forth with him, hurt each other while at it, but then, you will experience what it feels like to be loved without being trapped. You will experience what it feels not to labour in love. Because you will be loved by THE ONE!

So in case you are feeling worthless, trapped, suffocated, defeated in love, unloved, wait... because we need to talk!

 Be patient. It gets better.



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