12 Steps to Make him Love you

Dear Cosmo obsessed Shyro,

This is me trying to save you from the heart pain and shame that will follow you to your grave if you keep flipping through those glossy pages for relationship advice. Hey, Cosmo is great for some things, but I am truly convinced that the people who write those articles and create those horribly addictive flowcharts know nothing about the opposite sex

I just stumbled upon a back issue that I recall was once your Bible. This article illustrates what I mean:

11 Steps to Make Him Love You

 

  1. Give him an eyeful. Not of your breasts or legs, but of your eyes. Locking eyes with a guy doesn’t just tell him that you’re interested; it can even make him feel like he is falling in love with you….

 

I think you’d have better luck if you did give him an eyeful of your breasts. But don’t! The only thing that gazing into the eyes of a total stranger will do, is make you seem like a psychopath. And even if you know said target, it’s still quite weird. So no, there will be no eyefuls of anything being given out. Ever.

 

  1. Be like him. Focus on the things that you have in common. Research has shown that we are more likely to go with people who look to similar to us.

 

This, my darling, can also be referred to as racism. While it’s great to have stuff in common with the person you are crushing on, there’s so much beauty in the things that are different.

 

  1. Hang around…. A lot. This may sound counterintuitive but it’s not!

 

Yes it is! And there’s nothing worse than ignoring your intuition. You are not a crazy person, so don’t stalk boys. They don’t like it.

 

  1. Now disappear – just enough to remind him how much he loves spending time with you.

 

What is this hide and seek? The thing about games is that they may be fun in the beginning, but they get old quickly. It does feel great to be pursued, but these things are honestly much more exciting if they are just left to happen in their own time. Trust me.

 

  1. Ask for his help – we all like to feel needed.

 

Ok this one isn’t so bad, but none of that damsel in distress nonsense!

 

  1. Feed him grapes – the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.

 

Sigh. Even if this was true, I’m not sure grapes would cut it.

 

    7- 11 . Laugh, be confident, be a good friend, love him and love Yourself

 

See, I did say Cosmo was good for something. Laugh hard, especially at yourself and the silly mistakes that you often make.

Be confident in the person that you are, and the awesome person that you are becoming (if I do say so myself).

Be a good friend to those that are worthy of your friendship and ditch the rest.

Love him, if he earns it.

And love yourself because, again, you are awesome and love will find you and it will be magic.

 

Love Always,

Shyro

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