Dear Self

Dear self,

I know you probably hate yourself. No! I actually know you do. See I’ve lived this life you live now before, that hurt, that struggle. I know it feels like it will never end, I know it constantly feels like you made all the wrong choices. Especially since your friend told you that her life would be better than yours now that she went through Uni and you didn’t.

 I know this struggle feels like you aren’t making strides in life, secretly you know your friend is right but just maybe if I could begin to paint a picture of who you are and what you do now…it might just give you a little dose of resilience to push you by.

See, by the time your reading this, you've already made the decision not to go to Britain for School, you quit editing news, the TV stations won’t take your TV shows ideas and now you are forced to shoot wedding videos for a living. I’m sure this wasn’t part of the plan. You want to paint, start an agency, create Tv shows, shoot short films and documentaries around the world and help a few people while you are at it but sadly this isn’t it. Your life sucks! so you think.

It sucks and it will get worse before it gets better. You will take on a job…well! a wedding…You’ll wake up early and you’ll meet a ‘bridezilla’ as they call them. She is going to give you some form of grief during her wedding but honestly the shit hits the proverbial fan after the wedding. You’ll be too lazy to edit her video, so you’ll end up giving the video to someone to edit it but sadly thugs will come at night vandalize the office this guy is working from, everything will be stolen…your only camera and the tapes you recorded the video in (Ps: we don’t use tapes anymore).

you’ll have to eventually gather the courage to tell her and this will seem like the hardest thing you've ever done. This will somewhat give you sleepless nights because you now kinda need to figure out how you’ll refund her deposit back. At 2am on a day just like this, just when you give up and promise yourself never to do another wedding in your life, an idea will run within the abyss of your nightmare…it will come and hit you hard like the full lights on an oncoming truck but that my friend will be the beginning of the rest of your life. You will ask yourself hard questions of why should you put yourself in a box if you could actually be all you want to be and more. It’s crazy this idea, totally insane…you love it…it excites you…and now almost four years later…you help creatives…you run a festival and well! you get to be anything you want to be everyday of your life.

Love,

Your older self.

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