Dear Me - Patricia

My dearest Patricia,

It’s been very difficult writing you this letter. First of all because trying to figure out what time in your life mattered the most for you to hear this, was near impossible. Looking back, with you, all moments really do matter.  Every step of your journey has been poignant, as you’ve been going through difficult flux all through your life. You have always been so impressionable that random encounters, such as with a boy selling nuts in traffic, or with a stranger on a bus, would be enough to leave you shaken. Second, I realize that all of what I’m going to tell you is the opposite of everything that’s been deeply rooted in me for the most part of our life.

I have never said this to you. I love you. I love you Patricia. And it hurts me to say but I haven’t loved you for a long time. I haven’t shown you the kind of love that should have come so naturally. It probably began at age seven or eight, when I’d sit in the sun with soap on my face, hoping the black would crack off of my skin. Important lesson darling; Black don’t crack. You are magic, you and all your melanin.

Patricia, your mind will develop a skill, one that will be detrimental to you. Its ability to amplify the negative voices that will call out to you is uncanny. You need to stop this before it gets out of hand my love. Stiffle this negativity and focus on all you have to offer the world. You are magic, you and all your “youness.”

You are as important as the people you have and allow into your life.  You will develop a strange habit of second guessing the value that you are worth. Do not get trapped into believing that people are doing you a favor by being your friends. They want to be there. Let them. Do not be afraid to dig deeper into friendships with people that you find yourself drawn to because guess what darling; they are lucky, and happy to know you. Do not shut people out because you assume they “probably have better things to do or other people they prefer to spend time with.” You are magic, you and all your wonderful energy and gloriousness.

Patricia, you are wildly creative. Create. Don’t worry about whether you’ll be the first, with your original ideas. Just do them. Bring them to life. Don’t take too long thinking about how to make your concepts perfect, because if you wait too long before you allow an idea to flourish through you, it will find someone else to harness. Don’t rob yourself of your chance at growth. You won’t get to perfect without making some mistakes first so make them and use them to expand yourself.  You will fly high in your lifetime, but you have to crawl first, and then walk, you dig? That first album won’t be perfect, but then again, nothing ever is my love. The flaws are as much a part of perfection as the strengths. You are magic, with all your brilliance and creativity.

Patricia, you will love. And you will love deeply, without reservation. Keep doing that. Love without holding anything back. Feel it all. You will get hurt, because not everyone you fall in love with will be the right one, but the love you share will never be wrong so don’t hold back. Remember this, everyone is deserving of love, even the ones that hurt you. They are still a gift because they are all opportunities to love, and that means they are all opportunities to expand in love. The thing with love is that it never runs out. The more you love, the more you have to give because love is the most magic of them all. You are love. And you are magic.

Go on and cast your spell without reservation, my love.

Be love.

 

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