You are your own Remedy
I am writing you, you are 19, almost 20. I have slipped this into your notebook. I see you searching for answers, you read a lot but your energy is scattered. People tell you, “ You are beautiful,” you don’t believe it. You make mistakes, hurting yourself the most. When you allowed it, your spirituality grounded you, all this led us here. Here is a note to self:
- Pray and meditate more.
- Speak to Nature and everything around you, they are listening; the birds, the trees, the leaves, the table.
- Stop looking elsewhere for the vacuum only you can fill. Philippa I have seen you drinking too much, looking for solace in men, drugs and people to feel, joy and love. Its ok, you will grow through it. But trust me, when it gets tough, make a cup of tea, write, walk, pray, then read till you fall asleep. You are your own remedy.
- Mistakes happen, then they can happen again, it’s ok, forgive yourself and then don’t do it again.
- Fall in love with yourself; how you talk, how you cry, your body, your spirit, your words. Believe in yourself.
- Take people with a pinch of salt, people will always do strange things and people will always surprise you. Its ok, everyone has their own path.
- Having said that, go slowly, let people earn your trust, this means there is no confusion over your own expectations of them.
- Listen to your inner child and what she whispers. Be spontaneous.
- Write, sing and dance more.
- Always listen to your intuition, it has never failed us.
- Never, ever dim your light for others.
You are now 29, soon to be 30, beginning to understand your power, your beauty, your grace, your weaknesses. The more you heal, the more work you uncover. Somehow you care less about other people’s definition of you. You are intrigued and fascinated by your secret world. Last night I slipped this into your Moleskin:
- Be yourself always, do not hide, perhaps it will inspire others.
- Fear is more agonizing then what may happen if you do it. Take the leap. If you fall down, dust off, cry and give it another go and if need be, repeat. You are as strong as you allow yourself to be.
- Forgive everyone, and yourself; it makes the load lighter and makes your interactions with the world so much easier.
- Fall in love with your sexiness. Dance and exercise alone with the least clothes on, lots of sweat is good.
- You have finally understood what Mercy and Clemency mean, just as you want people to be compassionate toward you, be compassionate toward them. God is in everyone. Take many breaths before reacting.
- Be gentle and strong all at once. Embrace your sensitivity, just as it was your weakness, now its your strength, transmute your emotions; you are learning to mold water.
- Go deeper, study, become an expert in your interests.
- Believe in your worth. Allow yourself to receive Philippa.
- Keep listening, to yourself, to nature.
- You are many things, but do not define yourself, just be as sure as a river; know your source, then flow dear girl, the route will come easily inshallah.
- Kiss more, why not. If you can’t find someone, practice on your hand.
Philippa works with still and moving words and images. Born in Bonn, Germany, Philippa lives most of the time in Nairobi, Kenya.