DEAR LORNA

Dear Lorna,

Initially when you were informed about diabetes you thought it was for the elderly only. It was the sugar monster from far away. Then one day you saw how it got a hold of dad. He seemed to accommodate it so well so you still didn’t think too much of it. Then it reached you and you felt as if it was a bit of a harsh introduction. You cried so much with the sudden introduction to pills and injections. I know you were only fourteen years old so learning that there was both type 1 and type 2 of this thing was very confusing.  It was confusing because they were both the same but different. I know you couldn’t eat and act like others your age. You even refused to listen to how you should live this new life and because of that you started getting weak, so weak you could barely play any sports or even walk up the stairs comfortably.  You started running to the bathroom every other minute because your bladder couldn’t handle it. You suddenly lost 20kgs and your eyesight just got worse. I know it was a very depressing time and you knew rejecting this thing wasn’t such a good idea because there were so many consequences that you ended up having to deal with.

You decided to try again by taking up all the recommendations given by the doctor and actually started feeling good again. You didn’t want to admit any of this information to your friends because you already felt ashamed of your body and took in the teasing from your peers about your size. The judgment was too much for you to deal with. But whether you liked it or not this diabetes was here to stay and not going away. You grew up with it and as much as you thought you are in control you really aren’t. You realized this when you developed cataracts. That was definitely an eye opener both mentally and physically, especially after they were removed. You will learn to know how important that sight is later on in life and how much it shouldn’t be taken for granted. You knew you couldn’t be struggling in this alone. It made you go out and start looking for others like you. The people you found would later still be your friends and group members for years to come.  You then decided to start an online group where people could share how this thing came into their lives as well. It’s a good thing you learned that the stereotype that it only affected old people was totally wrong. With this group you learned that others had struggled much worse than you thought you did. Through this you realized you had a bigger purpose than just trying to barely control it. You used it to make you a better and stronger version of yourself and at the same time help as many people as you could. You will eventually stop caring whether you are the standard size society wants you to be but instead the best person you can be. Trust me one day that will be one of the best decisions you ever made.

When the work was put in, your body finally felt the way it was supposed to feel. The consistency in being active changed the way you handled stress. This scary thing over time becomes more of a friendly monster that will only attempt to scare you again when you do wrong to yourself. Your prayer will always be that one-day no one will be defeated by this “condition” but instead encouraged from it. It may have started out being the worst thing that happened to you when you came face to face with it but trust me the 28 year old version of yourself has never felt stronger. You can only thank it for it will transform you into a beautiful young lady who has a purpose and a drive for knowing that nothing can stop you from living life to its fullest.

Love,
Lorna
 
 
 
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