TELL HIM

Dear Omwenga,

All the best in your KCPE exams. You are going to do well. No really, you are. He is going to show up because you have done well. He is going to claim you. Flaunt you in front of his brothers and friends. It’s fine. Rock with it. You will also learn to do that. Only that you will never claim your family. They will never do well enough.

When he comes I want you to thank him in advance. Thank him for never keeping his word. Even his ex-wife here used to be like that. Always kept breaking promises. I hate that. It’s probably his biggest flaw. Bigger than fucking some other mama yet he has a family here. Thank him for teaching me to be a man of my word. Tell him today I travelled 320 kilometers, 7 hours on the road, to do something I hate, just because I’m a man of my word.

When he comes tell him I drank beer. Meh. I didn’t feel anything. I drank whisky and professed my crush on a violinist. Hehe.

Tell him my friend called Cee died and I cried. I sobbed like a baby. Tears and snot, gasping for breath. For Cee and for all the times I didn’t cry. He taught me well. Men don’t cry. It’s only that one time. Tell him the last time I cried like that I was still a boy. I was at a funeral and while everyone else was crying for aliyetuwacha, I was crying for you, uliyetuwacha.

Thank him for not loving us enough to make an effort. Tell him I learnt to do that. The girls who have loved me all complained about it. But I finally learnt how to love. That love is unconditional. Tell him I think I found the one and for the first time ever, I have thought about marriage. But he isn’t at the ceremony. He might as well be dead.

Thank him for my height. Thank him for my face. Thank him for my size. The one likes it. Thank him for his name that I use. It’s cooler than Omwenga.

Two people so far have explained to me how boys usually end up being like their fathers. I don’t believe it. Tell him I don’t want to be like him.

Tell him I have stopped blaming myself for him leaving us. He made his choice. And I respect that.

Anyway, Omwenga wewe soma.

Best of luck,

Omwenga.

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