Breathe, Just Breathe

You know in books/movies/series when something huge happens to the protagonist – good or bad (but in most cases bad) - then everything changes following the incident and it seems like everything they knew before doesn’t apply/matter?

That’s where you’re at in your life right now. Not sure how many more of these we’ll experience in our lifetime, but this is the first major tragedy we’ve faced. I know your shook. Just breath. Breathe. Let’s start there.

Here’s the thing, you’ve lived your life following a set of rules, black and white. Right now, life has happened in a big way, and everything is one big grey mess. You’re hurting, you blame yourself, and you keep asking and wondering WHY. Stop. Stop it. Stop asking why. That won’t help. Bad things happen to good people and this can’t be rationalized. That’s my second piece of advice – stop trying to rationalize everything. You are extremely smart babes, but you can’t think your way out of this one. You need to FEEL, TRUST & PRAY your way through it.

Now that I’ve mentioned prayer – let’s get into that. God is not punishing you. That’s not how He works. This idea you have of God as a punitive, harsh Father is inaccurate. Yes you’ve made your fair share of mistakes leading up to this moment, but guess what – He knew your mistakes before you even made them. They could never make Him love you any less. Your faith is in shambles right now; this is a good thing. This is an opportunity for you to rebuild stronger than before; a chance to establish a relationship with Him based on LOVE above all else. The rules follow once there is love. Remember this. The rules don’t apply if there is no love. Love first, then rules! Keep fighting for your faith. You may not be strong enough to pray right now, but He’s extremely proud of you regardless. He’s proud that you’re still fighting for Him. You may not feel like you’re fighting but you are. You’re still going for Mass; you’re speaking to people of faith in your life, people who are praying for you, people who are reminding you that He still loves you. You may feel like you’re failing as a Christian but you’re not. Keep fighting. 

That’s all I’ve got for now.  I’m writing to you 2.5 years post incident, and I probably shouldn’t tell you what life is like now but I feel like you could use it. Spoiler alert– we’re doing just fine! Better than fine actually. We’re happy. We fall asleep without struggle or anxiety – imagine that! Actual peaceful sleep. How good is God. We’re a much better person now - kinder, more empathetic, more loving and wiser. We are so self-aware. We understand that life is a series of moments – nothing lasts forever. We still cry a lot, mostly happy tears now though lol; and when it’s sad tears we let ourselves be. We don’t beat ourselves up for being sad as much as we used to. Most importantly our faith, sis our FAITH has grown so much. Our love for Him grows more and more every day.

The older you get the more you’ll realize that this thing called life is tough. You need to be your number one cheerleader. You must have your back, especially now. Love yourself back to you. <3

Keep moving, you may not feel like it, it may not seem like it, but you’re amazing sweetie.

Love & Light always,

Wagz

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