THE FIRE IN YOU

My dearest Wakesho,

You, are love. 

My dearest Wakesho,

You, are love. Your heart rages with the fire of pure, genuine, selfless, never ending, kind love. You love with all of you, in your core, you are made up of love.

He, your first, he whom you think is your only love will always remain in your heart. It’s hard to accept this, I know. You must be so fed up at this point, thinking, wondering why you love so deeply, even when you hate. You’re wondering whether there’s any point to this.

You spent years with him, lovely excruciatingly beautiful, happy years. It was, until it wasn’t anymore. Your heart aches, it got better, but once in a while it still aches, and you wonder whether it will really get better as everyone says. You crave the day you will wake up and feel absolutely nothing. But see, darling, you, are made of love. What others show back, what he returns, doesn’t determine whether you will love or not. Love, is part of your fabric. It’s one of your greatest qualities. So, he hurt you, I know, and he keeps doing it, and even though now you’re better, you’re still angry, hurt, but you still love. It is OK. You were created with the most genuine beautiful heart, and you cannot hate yourself for it.

So, a few years later, It sounds like such a cliché (because every Instagram and Tumblr post you read tells you this), but I PROMISE, it does get better. You still love him, you always will, but in the Jesus; brotherly love way. It’s such a slow process, that you will hardly notice it, but you will get to a point where he is really just… your friend. Your heart doesn’t ache anymore and you finally go a day, then days, then a week without sparing a thought for him…FREEDOM. 

You mustn’t be afraid. You’re still afraid now, of letting in anyone else, scared, terrified even of taking yourself back to that vulnerable state. God has someone in store for you, to be the custodian of your beautiful heart, you might miss him if you let the fear overcome for you. Let go, and go enjoy the dates, get to know people, he might just be around the corner ;) Enjoy the process, being happy starts with your genuine decision to BE HAPPY. 

You are growing, learning and it is a process that you will love. You know what you want, what you deserve and you will continue learning. This is the best time of your life, you will discover you, learn you and love you in a way you never thought was possible. Don’t let the pain overcome you, or rid you of your loving heart. The goal is to be unapologetically happy, and guess what; you are getting there, I promise. 

Yours,

Future Wakesho 

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